Pir8 with a payroll.

friendlyneighborhoodspidertits: deleg8pir8 started following you And you, you very sexy and...

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 02:02:44 -0400

deleg8pir8 started following you

And you, you very sexy and 8eautiful lady, are my wonderful 200th follower!

……..which makes the 150 follower contest I’ve 8een trying to throw seem kinda silly now.

I should get you some sort of prize, 8ut I get the odd feeling you’re not that much into flesh sacks as amazingly oversized as mine, so you get thanks I guess?

Am I supposed to feel some kind of overwhelming sense of congratul8ions, or something like that?

Contest? Don’t tell me people actually get that excited a8out these things? That seems like the kind of typical peacemaking hoof8eastshit that everyone else would 8e interested in.

Thanks, treasure, whatever you have to give aside from anything too odd. That 8eing said. Who are you supposed to 8e, exactly?

losermachinejunkie started following you If you have something you would like to have shipped over...

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 21:24:50 -0400

losermachinejunkie started following you

If you have something you would like to have shipped over from Alternia, speak now or forever hold your peace until the next shipment is due to 8e sent out.

On the off chance that you are here to complain a8out any so-called ‘a8uses of power’ I have no idea what you are talking a8out nor do I care.

That 8eing said; hello. My name is Vriska Serket.

grandneophyte: OF COURS3 NOT >:\ H3 JUST WOULDNT 4PPR3C14T3 B31NG ON 4 L34SH V3RY MUCH! 1...

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 00:54:12 -0400

grandneophyte:

OF COURS3 NOT >:\ H3 JUST WOULDNT 4PPR3C14T3 B31NG ON 4 L34SH V3RY MUCH! 1 WOULDNT DO 1T 3V3N WH3N H3 W4S M4SQU3R4D1NG 4S MY P3T 4ND 1 WONT DO 1T NOW!

1 JUST H4V3 TO W4TCH H1M MOR3 C4R3FULLY

Even if it were for his own protection? Just think of how terri8le it would 8e if he were to meet an untimely f8 all 8ecause someone allowed him to wander off.

Or find someone who can even watch him at all.

grandneophyte: VR1SK4 1 KNOW TH4T SOUNDS L1K3 4 GOOD 1D34 TO YOU BUT W3 BOTH KNOW 1 C4NT DO TH4T...

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 00:18:10 -0400

grandneophyte:

VR1SK4 1 KNOW TH4T SOUNDS L1K3 4 GOOD 1D34 TO YOU BUT W3 BOTH KNOW 1 C4NT DO TH4T >:\

H3 WOULD SCR34M 4ND CL4W 4ND CHOK3 H1MS3LF ON 4CC1D3NT

Cry me a river, 8uild a 8ridge, then proceed to get over it. He cannot possi8ly 8e that dum8 now can he?

Please don’t tell me the person in charge of anything lacks a sense of self preserv8ion.

Pleeeeeeeease.

>Vriska: Intercept.

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 16:39:20 -0500

This has gone on long enough. No longer do you with to feel the strain of the legislacerator baring down upon you, holding less-than-idle threats above your head. She’ll tell the Emperor what you’ve done, she says. You say you’ll in turn tell him of the deal the two of you have formed. She said she didn’t care, that he’d stick by her while you were stripped of any and all power you had managed to gain.

Well no more of this worrying. The key to your continued success lies in one of the crates aboard the ship that floats just on the horizon.

If you allow that ship to reach the port, there is no telling what sort of haphazard cargo shuffling will occur on the watch of the inept seadweller they left in charge of Alternia’s shipyard. Why you couldn’t manage the both of them you will never know. Even if you are not technically in charge, you have your ways when it comes to overseeing how things are run. You’ve paid off the workers to become casually oblivious to your presence and you cast a satisfied smirk in the direction of the shipyard a little ways away. Waves lap at the shore and slowly steal away the bits of sand that cling to your boots as you stand, waiting for the boat to move closer to the shore.

A small triggering in your mind, a whisper of ‘now’, some gut reaction of perfect timing spurs you into action as you begin to shove the small wooden rowboat towards the water, scraping the smooth surface of the wet sand and creating a telltale line that will be washed away before anyone will come close enough to notice. Up to your knees in water, your pants and coat become weighted as you start to hoist yourself into the tiny vessel, body tensing in all the right ways with long-since practiced balance. Water drips from you and begins to form a small pool along the inside of the boat, though not enough to cause any sort of concern. You instead focus on taking hold of your oars, making powerful strokes towards the incoming cargo ship.

Fortune seems to be looking to save you money, as the crew aboard the ship appears to be one of your own. There are no negotiation, only the silent casting of a line for you to use to board the ship. The rowboat, which you have taken from one of Eridan’s own ships, is left to be carried off to wherever the sea decides. You need not explain yourself to your crew, and you descend below deck to find a myriad of wooden crates and burlap sacks that stretch to fit their contents. Producing your blade you pry into a nearby crate, peering inside to find it filled with imported literature from Earth, if it could even be called that. The humans interested you but you had yet to find much faith in what they produced.

Foreign food, ingredients, bits of fur and claws and horns from unfamiliar animals; all things you had no interest in. No. You were looking for those dreaded red vines. The candied vice of your easily-bribed friend in the most Alternian sense of the word. They say when you find something it is always in the last place you look; as ridiculous as an adage that is, it is frustratingly true. In a case such as this, however, those red vines turn up in not only the last place you yourself look, but also the last possibly place to look in general. Yet somehow had Eridan gotten his hands on this shipment things would have been infinitely worse.

Frustration having been on a steady rise since the beginning of your search, you let out a grunt as you slide your blade across your hand, azure beginning to dot the floor below. You drag your hand along the top of the crate in a long line, lifting your palm when the trail begins to narrow. You ball your bloodied hand into a fist and more blue wells to the surface, dribbling down your arm and making stray dots atop the crate. You slam your hand down above the first line and trace a parallel pattern with the addition of an arch. Once again the trail narrows as the bleeding dissipates some, but you’re quite satisfied with the bold and prominent ‘♎’ that now adorns the top of the crate.

“I want all future shipments of red vine candies to 8e put into this crate. If I find anything else inside the person responsi8le is going to 8e eating whatever the hell they put inside. Am I understood?”

The few crew members that had been watching in a mortified sort of fascination nod quickly then return to their work. You take a seat on a smaller crate nearby and reach into a sack you had opened in your search, producing a small strip of fabric. It was smooth and softer than anything you had felt and had a deep green color that was a dead giveaway for the one who had requested this particular shipment. You poke your tongue into the gap between your teeth as you wrap the fabric around your hand, watching with a slight smirk as your blood seeps through the fabric, prompting you to take yet another strip from the bag.

Surely she won’t mind. There are things that must be done when you’re someone of such importance. With the candies secure and your deal still intact, no one of any consequence will be finding anything out about said things for a good bit of time.

grandneophyte: deleg8pir8: Hardy har har I appreci8 your sarcasm. I can clearly see when people...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 20:42:26 -0500

grandneophyte:

deleg8pir8:

Hardy har har I appreci8 your sarcasm.

I can clearly see when people are intimid8ed, unlike some people.

N1C3 TO KNOW MY S4RC4SM DO3SNT GO BY UNNOT1C3D W1TH YOU VR1SK4 >;]

1 KNOW WH3N P3OPL3 4R3 1NT1M1D4T3D >:O HOW D4R3 YOU SUGG3ST OTH3RW1S3?

I would have to 8e a fool not to notice it. It’s all a part of toler8ing and working with you.

Do you now? Certainly not 8y reading their faces.

grandneophyte: P3OPL3 4R3 1NT1M4D4T3D BY YOU? >:O R34LLY? Hardy har har I appreci8 your...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 17:41:09 -0500

grandneophyte:

P3OPL3 4R3 1NT1M4D4T3D BY YOU? >:O R34LLY?

Hardy har har I appreci8 your sarcasm.

I can clearly see when people are intimid8ed, unlike some people.

grandneophyte: deleg8pir8: grandneophyte replied to your post: So it seems I’ve 8een gaining a...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 17:35:11 -0500

grandneophyte:

deleg8pir8:

grandneophyte replied to your post: So it seems I’ve 8een gaining a small following.

NO ON3 C4R3S

Rude legislacer8or.

Rude.

1TS NOT RUD3 1F 1TS TRU3 >:O

HOW M4NY P3OPL3 B3S1D3S M3 4CTU4LLY 4CKNOWL3DG3D YOUR POST?

Everyone acknowledged it.

They are simply too intimid8ed to say anything.

grandneophyte replied to your post: So it seems I’ve 8een gaining a small following. NO ON3...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 17:22:08 -0500

grandneophyte replied to your post: So it seems I’ve 8een gaining a small following.

NO ON3 C4R3S

Rude legislacer8or.

Rude.

So it seems I've 8een gaining a small following.

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 17:17:56 -0500

You’ll have to forgive me for addressing you all at once, 8ut as I have said many times 8efore I am a very 8usy and important girl.

In the grand scheme of things, irons dedic8ed to greetings must 8e shoved to the 8ack of the fire until my important 8usiness is over and done with.

Seeing as that time is now, you will all gr8fully accept my most sincere of thanks and greetings.

Welcome.

deleg8pirate started following you

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:13:10 -0500

grandneophyte:

B3C4US3 R3GUL4T1NG TH4T MUST B3 SOOO STR3SSFUL >:\ YOU SHOULD S33 WH4T W3R3 D34L1NG W1TH OV3R H3R3! 4ND 1 C4NT DO 4NY OF TH4T B3C4US3 1 DONT N33D L4CK3YS 4ND 1M 4LR34DY DO1NG 3NOUGH 4WFUL TH1NGS BY K33P1NG YOUR 4CT1V1T13S ON 34RTH 4 S3CR3T 1 C4NT JUST P1N 4 R4NDOM CR1M3 ON TH3S3 H1GHBLOODS

OF COURS3 1TS OUR L1TTL3 S3CR3T 4ND 4S LONG 4S YOU K33P UP YOUR 3ND OF TH3 D34L H3 WONT H3R3 4BOUT WH4T YOUV3 B33N DO1NG >:\ JUST HURRY UP W1THTH3 SH1PM3NT

1TS B33N LONG 3NOUGH FOR M3 TO COMPL3T3LY RUN OUT OF MY R3D V1N3S! ..GR4NT3D 1 S3NT 4 BOX TO TH3 OWN3RS OF ON3 OF TH3 1NNS TH4T GOT BURN3D DOWN DUR1NG TH3 R3B3LL1ON…

YOULL H4V3 TO T4LK TO K4RK4T 4BOUT TH4T 1 H4D NO P4RT 1N G1V1NG H1M 4NY POS1T1ON WH4TSO3V3R

You really have no concept of what my jo8 entails, do you? It’s not just me making sure you’ve got your candy fix. There are people attempting to cre8 a livelihood for themselves with the products I’m shipping in. If I flu8 on any of the orders I am going to have a lot more trolls than you on my 8ack. Humans, too, I’m sure.

So charge them with conspiracy! Sa8otage! Anything to keep them incarcer8ed for the time 8eing.

I’ve got a ship coming in at a l8 hour which I am going to intercept 8efore it reaches Alternia’s shipyard. I’m going to 8oard and do inventory 8efore Eridan can get his clammy hands on it. If your red vines are on it, I’ll 8ring them to you myself. Sound good enough for you?

I 8ring in enough for you. Not enough for you to use them as peace offerings. Find something more expenda8le for that, will you?

You’re his advisor. Why don’t you advise him to stick Ampora with another jo8?

deleg8pirate started following you

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 03:47:04 -0500

grandneophyte:

1MPORT4NT FOR31GN BUS1N3SS MY 4SS >:\ 4ND 1 DONT TH1NK YOU R34L1Z3 HOW MUCH SH1T W3R3 D34L1NG W1TH B4CK H3R3 1 SHOULDNT H4V3 TO D34L W1TH H4LF TH3 TH1NGS TH4T 1 4M >:[ MY M41N CONC3RN SHOULD B3 TH3 H1GHBLOODS 1N TH3 DUNG3ON BUT H3R3 1 4M WORK1NG ON 3V3RY L1TTL3 TH1NG

VR1SK4, TH4TS NOT TH3 PO1NT! YOU C4NT GO BURST1NG 1NTO P3OPL3S H1V3S..YOU C4NT DO L1K3 90% OF TH3 TH1NGS YOU DO OV3R TH3R3 >:\ 3V3NTU4LLY H3S GO1NG TO C4TCH W1ND OF WH4T YOUR3 DO1NG 4ND YOU W1LL LOS3 YOUR POS1T1ON

JUST…S3ND 4 L1TTL3 D1NGY OR SOM3TH1NG B4CK OV3R H3R3 FOR M3 OR SOM3TH1NG! K4RK4TS G3TT1NG S1CK OF M3 L1CK1NG 4LL TH3 R3D TH1NGS 1N TH3 C4STL3

W3LL W3 H4D TO K33P H1M QU13T! F3F3R1 WOULDNT L3T US PUT H1M 1N TH3 DUNG3ON 4ND 1F W3 D1DNT G1V3 H1M SOM3 POS1T1ON OF POW3R H3 WOULD TRY TO R41S3 H1S OWN 4RMY

8elieve it or not things don’t ship themselves. These things have to 8e coordin8ed on 8oth ends and l8ly I’ve 8een having to pick up more and more slack over here. Just tell Karkat to hire you some lackeys. Or just pin some o8scure 8ullshit crime on them and get that pro8lem out of the way.

He isn’t going to catch wind if no8ody tells him. As of right now that no8ody is you, and I guess I can 8ump up the priority of finding those red vines of yours if it’ll ensure your keeping quiet.

Can’t you control yourself in the slightest 8it? I could swear it hasn’t even 8een that long since the last shipment I 8rought in.

8ut working with me? Really? Someone did this on purpose. Someone h8s me I just know it.

deleg8pirate started following you

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 03:10:53 -0500

grandneophyte:

1 DONT THROW 1T 1N YOUR F4CE EVERY 8 S3CONDS, JUST WH3N YOU T4K3 FOR FUCK1NG 3V3R TO G3T B4CK

4ND YOUR3 HORR1BL3 3NOUGH TO K33P M3 BUR13D UP TO MY N3CK 1N COMPL41NTS 4BOUT YOU 4ND YOUR CR3W >:[

YOU KNOW WH3R3 TH3Y 4R3 YOUV3 BROUGHT TH3M TO M3 B3FOR3!

YOU TH1NK 1 DONT R34L1Z3 TH1S? 1M PR3TTY SUR3 W3 4LL FOUGHT 4G41NST H1M 1N TH3 R3B3LL1ON >:\

I’m soooooooo sorry I have important foreign 8usiness to attend to. We can’t all 8e fortun8 enough to follow the King around on his grand journeys from the a8lution 8lock to his respite8lock.

The citizens of Earth are entirely too soft. It’s just one of those cultural differences they’re going to have to deal with.

Yes 8ut 8efore I didn’t have to deal with unauthorized shipments coming in and out and a certain someone jostling my vessels around while they sit at the port. It makes things a 8it difficult to keep track of.

And you’re telling me no one had the foresight to stick him with a jo8 where he wouldn’t have any sort of influence on anything?

deleg8pirate started following you

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 02:59:35 -0500

grandneophyte:

W3 H4V3 4 D34L S3RK3T >:[

1 K33P K4RK4T OUT OF YOUR H41R FOR TH3 M4NY HORR1BL3 TH1NGS YOU DO OV3R ON 34RTH 4ND YOU BR1NG M3 MY R3D V1N3S 1N 4 T1M3LY M4NN3R

WH3R3 TH3 FUCK 4R3 MY R3D V1N3S

Yes, yes, the deal. Just 8ecause you don’t throw it into my face every 8 seconds does not mean I keep forgetting a8out it.

However, horri8le is a vastly su8jective term- anyways.

I’ve 8een a 8it 8usy trying to find where the fuck everyone’s everything is to loc8 your precious fang-rotting treats.

I don’t know if you realize this, 8ut Eridan is a complete and utter jackass to work with. Or against, I should say. ::::\

dethronedmage started following you Ah, it was only a matter of time 8efore the masses 8egan to...

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 02:55:32 -0500

dethronedmage started following you

Ah, it was only a matter of time 8efore the masses 8egan to flock to me.

Wanting one thing or another, no dou8t.

Now.

Make it snappy. What’ll it 8e?

deleg8pirate started following you

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 02:53:45 -0500

grandneophyte:

YOU

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG 1V3 B33N W41T1NG FOR YOU, VR1SK4 S3RK3T?

However long it’s 8een I’m sure it could 8e summed up with ‘a 8it too long’.

Was there something you needed from me, or did you simply miss my 8eautiful face?

WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 05:03:13 -0500

Hmmmmmmmm. A gr8 question.

I definitely would not mind further explor8ion of Earth, though that can w8 until I get a 8r8k from 8usiness.

Aside from that, I can’t help 8ut wonder if there are other places of su8stantial size 8eyond Earth and Alternia.

If there are, I will 8e the first to discover them! >::::)