friendlyneighborhoodspidertits:

deleg8pir8 started following you

And you, you very sexy and 8eautiful lady, are my wonderful 200th follower!

……..which makes the 150 follower contest I’ve 8een trying to throw seem kinda silly now.

I should get you some sort of prize, 8ut I get the odd feeling you’re not that much into flesh sacks as amazingly oversized as mine, so you get thanks I guess?

Am I supposed to feel some kind of overwhelming sense of congratul8ions, or something like that? 

Contest? Don’t tell me people actually get that excited a8out these things? That seems like the kind of typical peacemaking hoof8eastshit that everyone else would 8e interested in. 

Thanks, treasure, whatever you have to give aside from anything too odd. That 8eing said. Who are you supposed to 8e, exactly? 

losermachinejunkie started following you

If you have something you would like to have shipped over from Alternia, speak now or forever hold your peace until the next shipment is due to 8e sent out.

On the off chance that you are here to complain a8out any so-called ‘a8uses of power’ I have no idea what you are talking a8out nor do I care.

That 8eing said; hello. My name is Vriska Serket. 

grandneophyte:

OF COURS3 NOT >:\ H3 JUST WOULDNT 4PPR3C14T3 B31NG ON 4 L34SH V3RY MUCH! 1 WOULDNT DO 1T 3V3N WH3N H3 W4S M4SQU3R4D1NG 4S MY P3T 4ND 1 WONT DO 1T NOW!

1 JUST H4V3 TO W4TCH H1M MOR3 C4R3FULLY

Even if it were for his own protection? Just think of how terri8le it would 8e if he were to meet an untimely f8 all 8ecause someone allowed him to wander off.

Or find someone who can even watch him at all.

grandneophyte:

VR1SK4 1 KNOW TH4T SOUNDS L1K3 4 GOOD 1D34 TO YOU BUT W3 BOTH KNOW 1 C4NT DO TH4T >:\

H3 WOULD SCR34M 4ND CL4W 4ND CHOK3 H1MS3LF ON 4CC1D3NT

Cry me a river, 8uild a 8ridge, then proceed to get over it. He cannot possi8ly 8e that dum8 now can he?

Please don’t tell me the person in charge of anything lacks a sense of self preserv8ion.

Pleeeeeeeease.

>Vriska: Intercept.

This has gone on long enough. No longer do you with to feel the strain of the legislacerator baring down upon you, holding less-than-idle threats above your head. She’ll tell the Emperor what you’ve done, she says. You say you’ll in turn tell him of the deal the two of you have formed. She said she didn’t care, that he’d stick by her while you were stripped of any and all power you had managed to gain.

Well no more of this worrying. The key to your continued success lies in one of the crates aboard the ship that floats just on the horizon.

If you allow that ship to reach the port, there is no telling what sort of haphazard cargo shuffling will occur on the watch of the inept seadweller they left in charge of Alternia’s shipyard. Why you couldn’t manage the both of them you will never know. Even if you are not technically in charge, you have your ways when it comes to overseeing how things are run. You’ve paid off the workers to become casually oblivious to your presence and you cast a satisfied smirk in the direction of the shipyard a little ways away. Waves lap at the shore and slowly steal away the bits of sand that cling to your boots as you stand, waiting for the boat to move closer to the shore.

A small triggering in your mind, a whisper of ‘now’, some gut reaction of perfect timing spurs you into action as you begin to shove the small wooden rowboat towards the water, scraping the smooth surface of the wet sand and creating a telltale line that will be washed away before anyone will come close enough to notice. Up to your knees in water, your pants and coat become weighted as you start to hoist yourself into the tiny vessel, body tensing in all the right ways with long-since practiced balance. Water drips from you and begins to form a small pool along the inside of the boat, though not enough to cause any sort of concern. You instead focus on taking hold of your oars, making powerful strokes towards the incoming cargo ship.

Fortune seems to be looking to save you money, as the crew aboard the ship appears to be one of your own. There are no negotiation, only the silent casting of a line for you to use to board the ship. The rowboat, which you have taken from one of Eridan’s own ships, is left to be carried off to wherever the sea decides. You need not explain yourself to your crew, and you descend below deck to find a myriad of wooden crates and burlap sacks that stretch to fit their contents. Producing your blade you pry into a nearby crate, peering inside to find it filled with imported literature from Earth, if it could even be called that. The humans interested you but you had yet to find much faith in what they produced.

Foreign food, ingredients, bits of fur and claws and horns from unfamiliar animals; all things you had no interest in. No. You were looking for those dreaded red vines. The candied vice of your easily-bribed friend in the most Alternian sense of the word. They say when you find something it is always in the last place you look; as ridiculous as an adage that is, it is frustratingly true. In a case such as this, however, those red vines turn up in not only the last place you yourself look, but also the last possibly place to look in general. Yet somehow had Eridan gotten his hands on this shipment things would have been infinitely worse.

Frustration having been on a steady rise since the beginning of your search, you let out a grunt as you slide your blade across your hand, azure beginning to dot the floor below. You drag your hand along the top of the crate in a long line, lifting your palm when the trail begins to narrow. You ball your bloodied hand into a fist and more blue wells to the surface, dribbling down your arm and making stray dots atop the crate. You slam your hand down above the first line and trace a parallel pattern with the addition of an arch. Once again the trail narrows as the bleeding dissipates some, but you’re quite satisfied with the bold and prominent ‘♎’ that now adorns the top of the crate.

"I want all future shipments of red vine candies to 8e put into this crate. If I find anything else inside the person responsi8le is going to 8e eating whatever the hell they put inside. Am I understood?"

The few crew members that had been watching in a mortified sort of fascination nod quickly then return to their work. You take a seat on a smaller crate nearby and reach into a sack you had opened in your search, producing a small strip of fabric. It was smooth and softer than anything you had felt and had a deep green color that was a dead giveaway for the one who had requested this particular shipment. You poke your tongue into the gap between your teeth as you wrap the fabric around your hand, watching with a slight smirk as your blood seeps through the fabric, prompting you to take yet another strip from the bag.

Surely she won’t mind. There are things that must be done when you’re someone of such importance. With the candies secure and your deal still intact, no one of any consequence will be finding anything out about said things for a good bit of time.

grandneophyte:

deleg8pir8:

Hardy har har I appreci8 your sarcasm.

I can clearly see when people are intimid8ed, unlike some people.

N1C3 TO KNOW MY S4RC4SM DO3SNT GO BY UNNOT1C3D W1TH YOU VR1SK4 >;]

1 KNOW WH3N P3OPL3 4R3 1NT1M1D4T3D >:O HOW D4R3 YOU SUGG3ST OTH3RW1S3?

I would have to 8e a fool not to notice it. It’s all a part of toler8ing and working with you.

Do you now? Certainly not 8y reading their faces.

grandneophyte:

P3OPL3 4R3 1NT1M4D4T3D BY YOU? >:O R34LLY?

Hardy har har I appreci8 your sarcasm.

I can clearly see when people are intimid8ed, unlike some people.

(Source: deleg8pir8)

grandneophyte:

deleg8pir8:

grandneophyte replied to your post: So it seems I’ve 8een gaining a small following.

NO ON3 C4R3S

Rude legislacer8or.

Rude.

1TS NOT RUD3 1F 1TS TRU3 >:O

HOW M4NY P3OPL3 B3S1D3S M3 4CTU4LLY 4CKNOWL3DG3D YOUR POST?

Everyone acknowledged it.

They are simply too intimid8ed to say anything.

grandneophyte replied to your post: So it seems I’ve 8een gaining a small following.

NO ON3 C4R3S

Rude legislacer8or.

Rude.

So it seems I’ve 8een gaining a small following.

You’ll have to forgive me for addressing you all at once, 8ut as I have said many times 8efore I am a very 8usy and important girl.

In the grand scheme of things, irons dedic8ed to greetings must 8e shoved to the 8ack of the fire until my important 8usiness is over and done with.

Seeing as that time is now, you will all gr8fully accept my most sincere of thanks and greetings.

Welcome.


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